Do you want a serious relationship? I highly recommend not playing with a couple or close friends, however, unless you REALLY know them and, preferably, have seen them during threesomes before. If you're the odd girl out, it helps to hang out with friends after, or do something frivolous and fun- helps to lighten the intensity and makes you feel a little less lonely if that happens to you. I've also had strangers become stalker-like, or fallen for someone I had sex with and felt miserable after. Do you want a casual relationship?
It works out much better if the two girls go at it and the boy sits on the sidelines some of the time. This is important to bring up. You might learn some new techniques, too! I will be honest- I have not heard of a threesome involving a couple where the guy picked the girl, the two girls focused on the guy, and this didn't end in pain and tears. None of that "oh, I'll just watch and wank" stuff unless they really are into that. Meet the girl from the couple individually for coffee or a pint first and double check what she likes, flirt with her more, play with her more. This seems to cut down on jealousy. There's that memorable threesome with the guys in Shortbus, and the L Word has more than one in the series- everyone's getting in on the action, and have been for a while! Plus I just haven't had the same delicate jealousy issues. But honestly, it's hard enough getting ONE person into bed and figuring out their turn ons and turn offs, what positions work for your bodies, and how to be truly present. Extra Suggestions- Negotiate Everything. Personally, I enjoy telling my boyfriend and the third person what to do for my entertainment- by being the bitch in charge, I feel comfortable with how far things how and how quickly. Like I said, be honest with yourself and those playing with you. If you're the odd girl out, it helps to hang out with friends after, or do something frivolous and fun- helps to lighten the intensity and makes you feel a little less lonely if that happens to you. These can tend to make threesomes easier, in my opinion. Safer sex guidelines, who likes what kind of play, if you'll cuddle after or split up. Also, please refer to my blog about being sex positive when the object of your affections has a positive STI result. Some people consider "their bed" sacred, not for that sort of play, and a hotel might better suit- others don't care. That scenario where the guy and girl fuck and girl 2 just sits aside and makes o faces while she masturbates? Also, on safer sex- double check what everyone feels comfortable with safer sex wise, what they use with other lovers, when they last got tested. It's a toss up whether it's better to play with people you know and trust or strangers. Again, negotiate, and be honest about how much experience you've had with this sort of play- it CAN make things easier and more fun, but it can also blow up in your face if you don't know that someone is a rape survivor, or that someone hates being submissive. Then of course a question to ask is what sort of threesome are you looking for? Do you want a regular booty call? BBG- Ok, I'm going to be honest- in my experience, this is generally easier. Some of the most mind-blowing sex I've had has been with couples or with a third- it can be playful and fun, and treat it right, you can have that fun over and over again.
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